My first fear

Today I was up all night watching Smallville, the superman series. At 8am, I had my breakfast and came outside my hostel to enjoy the cool breeze and soothing sun. My friends and I started talking about the comics, we read and series, we watched, when we were kids. Spiderman, superman, tintin, Nagraj, Chacha chaudhary, Chandrakaanta, Shaktimaan etc. were on our list. All this doesn't seem to have any relation with headline of this post. Isn't it?
But it is. All this got me back in my memories when i was 5yrs old. My collection had 4 comics, my father bought me when i was sick. Three of them were nagraj,chacha chaudhry, -----. In all these comics, some hero conquered evil by using strength or intelligence and saved the world. That's very usual to be with a child.
Finally i had a fourth one, probably JK3. The main character was a boy, who was maniacal and killed almost everybody who knew him. Some got killed by scissor or knife, some in swimming pool or bath tub, other with electricity shock or by falling off somewhere.
I had read only about 10 pages, and i was already in shock. I hid that book behind a trunk as the mere sight of the cover was frightening. Whenever i saw that book again, i tried to find some more secure place.
Probably it was my vivid imagination that always imagined that boy standing in front of me, killing someone else or coming after me. That was the first time i feared, and that was for a very long time.
I never told anybody about it. We left that village. After about 6 years, when i came back to that house, that book found me. Again, i had fear, but this time i wanted to know, from what i fear. I completed that comic and then i never got any dream about it, never feared from it.

I still have same problem- fear of unknown. I'm always nervous almost about everything i do. But i have made this habit, to face the things, to complete my tasks no matter how feared i am.

how many people

i often read in newspapers that somebody died on accident spot because nobody helped him, and often thought what would i do if i were in a situation like that. And recently, i was in one.
as usual i was going back to college by train, and it stopped at Allahabad station. On the plateform, there was a poor woman lying. she was unconscious and completely wet. Her body was white and it was very amazing that she was alive till than.
about a hundred people were passing by every minute. All of them gave a cursury look at her and moved on. People in my compartment too were staring at her and making guesses wat might have happened to her.
Often i imagined myself as a strong person who will come forward and help if somebody needs. Not to break that image of myself, i looked around what i can do. There was a police-man standing nearby. i went to him and talked about the matter, asked him whether he was local or not, since when that woman was lying there, and why he doesn't do anything.

in answer, he told me that he was local, woman was there for two days, and he doesn't take her to hospital because "thik hone ke baad ise kaun dekhega..... padi rahne do, kuch der main apne aap chali jaayegi........nahi to marne ke baad koi utha ke le hi jaayega.''
with this overwhelming reponse, i came back to train. after sometime, i went to buy some food. and as i was coming back with sandwitches and tea, i saw her. i went there, kept that food there for her, and tried to wake her up.
then a thought came in my mind.........."jab uthegi, apne aap kha legi."...........and i came back on train.
i still think what would have happened to her, and I could have done something for her. but i didn't.